Not so FAQ

What exactly is "The Bus of Love"?

The Bus of Love is a metaphor for dating/love/life in general. Basically, it's like this: we all have a bus that we are driving around through life. On your bus, you have to take your assigned route and at certain stops people will get off and on your bus. Some passengers will add to your journey, some will take away from it and leave you stalled on the side of the road waiting for repairs. Some people will try to get you out of the drivers seat and try to drive your bus for you. Don't let them! Only you can drive your bus. You can't skip stops, you can't deviate from your prescribed route, but you do have some control over who you let on your bus and how they behave while they are there. Always remember that YOU are driving the bus and your passengers have to abide by your rules, or they have to exit at the next stop.

Wait. How can people ride my bus if they all have their own buses to drive?

Do not over analyze the bus, ok? It is what it is. Through the magic of metaphor, I can ride your bus and drive mine at the same time.

Who gets to drive the karma bus?

The Karma Bus is not affiliated with the Bus of Love. The Karma bus is independently owned by a large black woman who chain smokes and knows 7 kinds of martial arts. She will whoop your ass if you are deserving. She will also comfort you and make you homemade cookies and macaroni and cheese if you are deserving. Stay on her good side and no one gets hurt.

Where do you get off calling yourself "All Knowing" Jen?

Honestly, it was an accident. I was telling fortunes for some fair thing in college and my signage said "The all knowing, all seeing Jen" I can't remember if I made it up or if someone else did. Like all good things, it started off as a joke at first, and then just kind of stuck. (probably because I insisted on using it over and over ;)

Wait. You were "telling fortunes" are you psychic now?

Psychic? No, I don't think so. But my friend's mom can tell fortunes using ordinary playing cards. She is really scary good at it, and she once told me where I could find a pair of earings that I had lost. Anyway, she told me that the face cards represent people (red cards=fair, black cards= dark coloring, King=older, Jack=younger) and a few other ways to catagorize cards (for example, a 10 represent travel). Once you have a code for yourself you can talk your way into a fortune. If you get something right, or the person seems to really respond, you elaborate.

Why do you call your baby Attila? Isn't she a girl?

Because that is one of her nick names. Yes, she is a girl. She's Attila the Baby. It's a long story, but the name started as a joke between her father and I before she was even conceived.

Why do you call your husband Dude?

Everyone calls my husband Dude, it's not just me.

Seriously, do you have a "thing" for nicknames?

Kinda. It gives me a false sense of security on the internets, but yes, most of my friends/family have nicknames. Some of the names I made up in a drunken stupor, some of the names were pre-existing. My sister is lucky enough to have multiple nicknames. Some members of my family have nicknames that they are not even aware of.

What's your sign?

Taurus. Pieces moon, I think a Virgo rising.

Do you really believe all that astrology crap?

Yes, I do. The basic signs are pretty generalized, it's true, however, certain traits really seem to fit.

Ok then, what is my sign?

Hmm, your cynicism tells me that you are probably a Capricorn.

Thank you, my name is Jen.