Let's say you have a casual acquaintance. This acquaintance shows you pictures of her children and mentions that her youngest is 2 but has a developmental delay so she functions as a 7-8 month old. How do you respond? Do you just say "oh"? Do you gently inquire further? (and how?) Do you just say "all of your children are beautiful"? Help me here, I am like a bull in a china shop in these situations.
About Me
- Allknowingjen
- Am I really All-knowing? Yes. But I don't mean that in a "know it all" kind of way. Confusing, I know, but I am a woman full of contradictions.
5 comments:
Well, let us talk what her motives are for sharing.
1. Moms can be so judgy, she's trying to explain before you judge
2. Being a mom can be isolating (esp. if you haven't discovered the Internets), and she's sharing to deal with that.
3. She is just saying it, like Bobby has such cute curls, or this is an old picture.
I think they're all cute is a good response, no matter what. If she is sharing because she needs to share it with someone then she'll likely share more. Listening is all I think we really want as moms. Kids don't listen all that well.
I usually go to humor:
Mom: "...as a 7-8 month old."
Temp: "Most days, so do I. Really, they're gorgeous."
Anyone who's going to want to talk to me anyway isn't going to be offended by that.
See, this is why I need a little mini Kashka to carry around with me :)
I did do the "oh she's so cute" thing- but the mom kind of gave me a funny look, like it was an odd comment, or a non-sequitur, so I thought maybe I had made a misstep somehow... *shrug* too late now but it's one of those things that I replay over in my head.
As someone who will also have a child with developmental delays due to orphanage care, I would end up being very curious and and say something to the effect of "I am/will face the same problem, (but maybe not as severe), what do you find works for...."
Unless the kid is also horribly deformed, I would have said the same thing: "they're beautiful."
Quite frankly, I think the mom is guilty of overshare. Judging by the response, although I hate to think it, she might have even been fishing for sympathy.
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