I am having a hard time writing this post, because the more I think about it, the angrier it makes me.
Apparently there is a bit of a brouhaha over the whole Cocktail play dates some moms have (Seriously-these are my people- and I need to find them in my zip code...) It kind of stems from this blog here and then spreads to a few other places, and then this story aired yesterday morning on the Today Show. (be sure to watch the video- journalism at it's best)
I am also having a hard time composing my thoughts since a lot of what I would say has already been posted very succinctly in the text and comments of the above blog. So I only have this to say about that.
- Being a mom is not a "job"- it's a relationship, not a career. It's just one part of who a woman is, much like she is a wife or a daughter or a sister. Can you imagine if women walked around talking about how fulfilling their marriage was and how they were trying to be the best wife ever? Yeah. Anyone who tries to compare mothering to a job really has no clue. It's just so much more than that. Is it work? Hell yes - but I think those women who have sold it to themselves as a career are mislead.
- I am a social drinker and I believe that drinking in moderation in full view of one's children teaches children how to be responsible moderate drinking adults as well. But I am probably going straight to mommy-hell anyway since I decided long ago that my children will be allowed to have a glass of wine or champagne before the legal drinking age.
- How come this isn't an issue if a man is having a beer while caring for his children? How come it's acceptable to have an afternoon BBQ (with drinking) but it's different (and dangerous) if women get together and drink without men around? What about mom's who go to work and then come home and have a glass of wine? Shouldn't they be vilified too?
- Stay at home mothers are not bored. Seriously. The media needs to stop perpetuating this myth. Not a single stay-at-home parent I know is bored. Hungry for adult interaction? Sure. Trying to squeeze in time to pursue their own interests/hobbies/careers while caring for young children? Yep. But Bored? No, not bored. Honestly, I have never been less bored in my life.
- Meredith Viera can bite me.
5 comments:
I'm with you, AKJ. I think this is a way for other women to mock and point fingers to make themselves feel better because we're all just guilt-ridden freaks. But aren't we just making it worse by judging, people?
As long as it's not alcoholic drinking and there's no driving drunk, I'm all for it. And I, too, see no difference between this and the traditional backyard barbecue, except that the kids appear to be watched much more closely than I ever remember. Yeah, that's a radical, psychologically damaging thought.
Yeah, I'm with you ladies. An occasional glass of wine or whatever while watching the kid(s) is just fine, and can model responsible alcohol use. Of course the usual caveats of not drinking and driving, moderation, awareness of alcoholism, etc. apply, but please, no prohibition here.
Some people just aren't going to be happy unless you're raising your kids exactly like they think you should. Except, we don't need TV or the internet to disseminate that, because people already have a thing called "their in-laws".
(And I did that so no one who'd get in trouble for it would have to. You're welcome.)
See it for what it is -- they are too frightened and/or incompetent to do real news, so they have to stir shit up. And this week, it's the dangers of your children knowing that their parents are adults. Next week it'll be that letting your kids wear orange stunts their growth or something.
Shock and dismay. Does the high horse come with the nanny, or the other way around?
(I haven't actually watched the video, because I'm at work.)
Agreed. I think the cocktail playdate is an awesome idea partly because of the intrinsically adult aspect of alcohol. It's like a little tangible token giving you permission to be focused on yourself as a person and an adult woman in the company of other women even with your child(ren). I hate the notion that becoming a mother means that "mother" is your only identity from then on, and that every action must be viewed and judged through that definition, as if every other part of who you are must be completely subsumed to that one (albeit tremendously important) aspect of your life.
I think kids deserve to have a whole person as a parent.
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